A letter to their father

Maybe we should see a mediator. I agree that our interactions
are not healthy. It drains me to deal with you over anything... an ill child, a trip
to the doctor, medicine, shoes, activities, vacation, school, events,
holidays, a ride, etc. It is rarely simple.

To stop communication is not an option as long as they visit your
home and you are in their lives with some regularity. Perhaps a
calendar sent at the start of the month, then a weekly checkin with
any changes will help. You must assist with transportation
(50% of the time) when bus is not an option. That is your agreed responsibility.
Thankfully this year they are able to bus to school and many activities.
Stop putting me down every opportunity you get. If it
is over then stop attacking me. I write back to defend myself. You
are always the antagonist, always. I defend myself against your
unending putdowns.

I gave up on any kind of appreciation or acknowlegement years ago, but
I am not immune to your repeated verbal assaults.
Hopefully one day I will be immune. It hurts the children when
you bring them into an attack on my character. All three of
them have had counseling because of the abuse they have witnessed.

May would not have behaved towards me the way she did without a
model. Her behavior the day she went to Juvenille Hall should have been
stopped long before that time. She modeled what she grew up with.
Thank god she went into the juvenille court system. It was a massive turning point for her.
Diego's and Summer's positive changes are no accident, they are a result of counseling and
involvement. You do not participate in the ups and downs of the day to day. You explode and then we have
to cope with the mess you leave. You really have not been engaged with them since they were little. What you have done is destructive, you have repeatedly hurt them, manipulate them by attacking. They feel as if they are a burden to you.
Rather than a joy in your life, they seem to remind you of your pain.

Thankfully they are resilliant and they will survive this and be strong. Children in the world have faced far worse and
come out in one piece.

I do not know what the answer is? But it didn't work when we were
married and it sure isn't working now. I am willing to go forward and
work towards better communication, but stop the attacks.