Summer in Paris and more...

Hyper aware of flu symptoms, Summer plied herself with liquids, vitamins and natural remedies. She could not sleep the night before, a mixture of excitement and dread. This was her first flight alone. Her brother and sister have flown solo to visit family and friends, but Summer always stuck close to home.

I was able to accompany her to the gate. Her newly acquired tough teen facade melted away. Her godmother would meet her in Paris. We discussed her fears, it made her nervous to run through a negative scenario. "If she's late, I'll go to the Air France counter, explain the situation, and stay there till she arrives, I will call you collect if necessary." I have found (sometimes through dreadful experience)it's healthy for them to run through a series of "what if" the to be unprepared.

This last year she has pulled away, recently making faces when I speak, questioning my judgment, shunning hugs and affection, choosing friends over activities with me or family. I experienced this with her brother and sister, I know it is part of normal teen development. She is "individuating", I see the child in her eclipsed by a new inexperienced, a times, uncomfortable teen. Summer was the openly emotional and sensitive child, I miss her hugs. With this unavoidable, necessary transition I feel sadness and relief.

Her flight was on time at 2pm. We saw a few kids close to her age, traveling with their families. I embarrassed her by introducing ourselves, but when it came time to board the plane she was engaged in discussion and Gameboy with these new friends. She gave me a tight squeeze, bounded down the ramp toward the plane, turning back to wave before she disappeared. I thought about waiting (at the now empty gate) to watch the plane take off. I felt silly and sentimental, overprotective. I bucked up, reminded myself of all the work I had to do and left.

Paris nine hours later, after customs and baggage I could expect a call by 12:30am. I am normally awake late but 12:30 came and went, no call. 1am, no call, I began to worry...