The Democratic Caucus, Kimya Dawson and more

The caucus was chaotic. “If you know your precinct please proceed to the front of the building!” The front of the building was locked behind construction and chain link, madness and mayhem ensue. After a labyrinthine journey I found myself packed and sweating in the Learning Resource Center, AKA the library. Some familiar faces, an ex-coworker from the news biz. Our precinct captain, personally passed his hat for money. “ It’s not that I don’t trust you, I just need substantiation.”

My mind wandered…As a mother I want to trust my children, but there is a part of me that does not trust completely, I also need substantiation. My son is in that fragile in between stage, outwardly defying boundaries, inside begging for them. I do not understand many parents’ of teens. They were doting and attentive when their children were young, then many of them drop off the face of the earth for the teen years.

“Obama supporters over here, Clinton supporters over here” My body moves, but I am thinking about my 15-year-old son.

Just yesterday he and his classmates were screaming their lungs out the Obama rally. Ramped up they went back to class and later out with friends “I’m going to Liza’s house”, my son said, I think I will sleep over. He has known Liza since 3rd grade. The relationship is no longer playmates having play-dates. It feels different now. ”I want to talk with Liza’s mom, and you need to be in by Curfew, 11pm” (I know Liza’s curfew is 10pm). “Mommmmmmmmm, it’s dad’s weekend, not your weekend” Dad rarely checks up on the kids, it’s a problem. “Diego, I don’t stop being a mother when it’s your father’s weekend.” I asked him to call me when he got to Liza’s house. When he called Liza’s mom and dad were not home, I heard kids in the background.

We spoke a few more times, at 10pm her parent’s were not home. Liza’s a nice girl, I like her parent’s, but they’re 15. 15 is a battleground of emotion and hormones. At 10:30 I decided to pick him up. I braced myself for battle, he was resistant at first, but then comes home embarrassed and annoyed. I am relieved. I have parented alone since they were young. When they were younger it was easier. For years I hoped their father would back me up, often not feeling my own strength. Their father was rarelyt supportive when we were together. Now I feel he actively undermines my credibility and authority.

A few weeks earlier teens my son knows congregated at a friends house. Her parents’ were out of town. An acquaintance drank so much alcohol that she collapsed unconscious. I heard this from a parent who worried when she could not reach her son drove by the party. She had been told the party was chaperoned and trusted her son. Had she not come by, this young girl might have died.

What were all these 15 year-olds doing at an un-chaperoned party? Where were their parent’s? This is not an unfamiliar scene; A few years earlier this happened in my own home with my older daughter. I was out of town, she was supposed to be with her father. He let her stay in my house alone, without my knowledge. Not only did one girl end up at the hospital, but I was robbed too. I blame myself for trusting my daughter, I did not see the signs in front of me. It was the beginning of a long, difficult time with her. Substantiation....

Pulled back into the caucus, the money has been counted and it's a good amount. Animated impromptu speeches have begun, democracy in action. My cell phone rings, my younger daughter’s plans have sadly fallen through. She had waited weeks for a free Kimya Dawson is at a local record store. She is weeping at the thought of missing Kimya Dawson sing. My vote has been counted, I leave early. To the concert...